North Korea, Best Korea!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
