Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
