brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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