the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
