I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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