That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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