btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
