I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
