Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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