I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
