i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
