News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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