Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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