You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
