i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
