help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
