his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
