she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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