There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
