He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
