As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
