Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
