I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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