Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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