The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
