Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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