you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
