so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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