I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
