we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
