I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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