I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
