I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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