It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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