I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
