i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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