hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
