Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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