Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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