Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
