I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
