Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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