May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
