so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
