Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
