so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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