To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
