actually, I'm a sock model
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
