just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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