I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
