she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
