im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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